the ugly duckling

2004-03-06T17:00:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here it is...my final blog as an E-Rhetoric student. But don't worry this will not be my last blog entry. Ok, so here goes...

(side note...as I started typing this...our undefeated basketball team just lost to UW...my state school where all my friends go...I am going to pretend it never happened...)

I think that PWR 2 was an awesome course. I liked how it helped you with your writing, but a lot of the focus was on oral presentation. It is good for students and just people in general to get a background in public speaking. The tips I learned about presentations helped me a lot. E-Rhetorics as a class was awesome. I really disliked PWR 1 so for me to say this is a big deal...haha. I enjoyed learning about the tech world and how it has affected the world around us. I learned a lot about how to manage myself on the internet as well as use these different forms of media that are available. One of my favorite aspects was learning the difference between writing for the web and writing on paper. Not only did this class and the projects help me with my writing and speaking skills, but I actually learned more about my own identity as well. Since I am a very analytical person, learning more about why I do the things I do is very valuable knowledge. Through the blog and my actual topic, the psychology of online communication, I learned why I feel the need to converse online...who I really want to be, and how to improve my study skills, etc.

About the research hypertext specifically...I had a lot of trouble. It was a rewarding experience because I had never created a web site before and knew nothing about that type of technology. It was somewhat hard to balance my time with the design and actual writing of the hypertext, but in the end it turned out ok...I still have some final revision to do before I finish it for Monday. I feel like this work I did in PWR will help me in the future because I have learned more about who I am as a person and I know how to present in front of my peers as well as professors. I know how to compose a powerpoint that is effective and will get my information and point across to my audience successfully. Overall, I really enjoyed this class but I have to say, it was the most work I have ever had to do for a class. (oh and Christine, you are my fav prof)

Oh, and Christine, I tried to add an image, but for some reason, blogger won't let me so here is the link to the image i wanted....

http://www.liquidledger.com/raves/images/happyFace.gif

2004-02-20T03:03:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to SAE's formal and on the way home I started thinking about communication with people and the relationships that result. I had a blast at this dance and I didn't know a single soul or the date I was going with. By the end of the night we were all having a great time laughing and enjoying each other's company. I know that if I had met them online, I would not have the same memories or have developed these new friends. Instant messaging might be efficient and new age, but nothing replaces good old face to face contact. I can't imagine having as good a time online chatting with someone than I did tonight out with a random group of people.

On a different note, my research hypertext is killing me. I finally finished the writing, but I am afraid it might not be everything Christine is looking for. Now I have to worry about designing the actual web page. I am excited for this part of the project, except for the fact that I don't know anything about the programs that I am supposed to be using, so my progress will be tedious and slow, compared to the work of someone who knows what they are doing. I am going to try and work really hard this weekend though to make a lot of progress.

And on that note...Good night moon.

2004-02-13T01:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I am taking your suggestion Christine and using this blog as a study break from my nodes. I don't know why but ADD seems to overcome me as I start writing them. It takes me so long to finish a paragraph, one paragraph and I feel like in the end, they aren't that good to begin with. What is wrong with me? Will I ever get this project done? I am praying that I will. I enjoy it, but at the same time I feel so helpless with this technology that I am learning so much about and I feel like my research won't extend as far as I had hoped. I guess we'll just have to see. Things I still need to do while they are fresh in my mind...tally up my survey and create a graph to use in my node, finish writing all of my nodes, explore more in chat rooms and pick out some convos for the project, pick out some im convos that are fitting to the project...(ask josh how to copy and paste from trillian, is it possible?) Ok, so now that I vented a little, its back to work I am afraid...I am so tired that I don't know what to do with myself...on a lighter note, Christian comes tomorrow and Saturday is Valentine's Day! Yeah! God bless and good night.

2004-02-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

The hypertext project thus far...

I am really enjoying E-Rhetorics as a class, but I can feel the anxiety rising in my throat. I am not the most technically savvy of all people, I mean I can use a computer, email, instant messaging, and many programs, but when it comes to designing a web site, I am completely lost. I am getting nervous because I feel like I don't have enough time to really complete everything that I need to do and I know that this hypertext project will consume me. I am still confused a little bit as to what nodes are...I have been told they are like paragraphs, but why wouldn't you just call them paragraphs if that is what they are? I hope that I picked a topic where I will have enough information to fill many webpages. I am nervous about that as well. It will be a fun experience though and I am looking forward to the challenge and the end result.

2004-01-29T21:18:00.000-08:00

The Internet and Identity...

In my PWR class, we had an assignment to create an identity for ourselves. We would use this alias in Panfora to recreate a MOO or a MUD. Through my alternate identity, I was able to actually state something about myself that was very true and very vulnerable to my classmates, people that I do not know other than the 3 hours a week interaction. I think that in a way these alternate identities are good because at least for me...it is a way to vent to people, to discuss things with an open mouth and an open heart and in some ways, you can learn more about who you are and who you want to be. Some people use these different titles and aliases as shields to be perverted, such as internet pedophiles, and some people use them to truly be who they wish they were...gender swapping. The internet has opened up such a vast new world full of alternate identities, it still amazes me.

2004-01-23T01:40:00.000-08:00

A Virtual Reality?

As I sat reading Howard Rheingold's article, Introduction to the Virtual Community, I wondered how really true the experiences he is talking about are. There are so many people that I have met online and gotten to know very well, yet when I see them in person, it is a whole different scenario. You feel as if you know the person so well, their trials and tribulations, their hopes and dreams...you have lived with them...but in a virtual world. It is interesting to think that you could be walking down the street and pass right by someone you know so well online, yet in real daylight, you would pass right by and have no idea that the person you passed was one of your closest friends.

Another area to think about...True Love Online...

Can you really find true love online? In a virtual community, in a chat room, browsing the web? I have a hard time believing this is a possibility, but I have been known to be proven wrong. What is true love..is it specifically what the bible defines it as being? Patient, kind, never boasts, never jealous...? Is true love something you feel over time for an individual, or is it "at first sight" like many hopeless romantics believe? So many questions, so little time...more for me to think about.

2004-01-19T22:44:00.000-08:00

My Dream Soul Mate...

To You Who Knows Me Best:

Thank you so much for loving me unconditionally. For putting up with all that I struggle with, all that I throw your way. I believe that the reason our relationship is so powerful is because my battles make both you and I stronger. They test our relationship and in the end we always overcome. You always call when you say you'll call....well usually, no one is perfect. You have never disappointed me and I know that you will be there for me when I need someone. Whether you're here physically or thousands of miles away, if I need someone to talk to, you'll always have an open ear. You're my best friend and I can be completely goofy around you. I feel like I am with my other half when I am in your presence. We have so much fun together...laughing, talking about our hopes, dreams, and fears. You aspire to be all that you love and you never let anyone stand in your way. My soul mate is forgiving and has a passion for God. His smile can illuminate any dark room and his soothing words can calm any troubled soul. With one hug he warms your heart and brings all tears to rest. No one will ever understand why I do the things I do, and what lies at my core better than you. You're truly a blessing from God and I am so happy that our paths crossed, no matter how rough the journey was. You laugh at all of my jokes, whether they are funny or not. You notice all the little quirks about me...my crooked smile, my goofy names and you wouldn't have it any other way. There is so much about you that I love...but most of all I love that you love me...to be continued...

2004-01-19T13:31:00.000-08:00

Stream of consciousness....

What makes people weak in mind? Why do you give in when you know something is wrong? Is there a numbness of mind after it has been done for awhile? How do you get yourself out of a rut? Some say keeping busy is the answer, others say taking a break is needed. Which is right? Is even the most wonderful person in the world self-conscious? Is there really one person in the world that is meant for me? Is it possible to truly like two people? What are the people reading this blog thinking about me right now? Sometimes I feel like life is fast forward, yet I'm in slow motion...there are too many beautiful things in the world and not enough time to experience them all. What would it be like to be immortal? Would life become boring after a certain number of years? People say money doesn't buy happiness. Why is the world centered around money then? Why is it that people with no money have such hard lives and a lot of the time, aren't happy because they struggle to eat and breathe? I wish that there was a universal antidote for mean spirited people...an individual expels so much more energy and time trying to be harsh with people...does anyone else notice that? Does having true faith in something mean that you can never doubt it? Is it really true that what goes around comes around? I wish that I was stronger and could help people more than I have in my life...because it is true that everything you do sets an example for others. I wouldn't be who I am today without the patience and guidance of many...friends are like an elevator, they can take you up, or they can take you down...its so true in life. I want to always surround myself with people that inspire me because I know that I will strive to reach my potential if that is the case. What will life be like 50 years down the road? What will I be like...and who will be the most important people in my life then? There are so many questions that burn in my mind, that float around day to day with no hope for an immediate answer....

2004-01-19T13:18:00.000-08:00

Instant Messaging: A Curse and a Blessing?

I am an instant message addict. Just ask anyone who knows me. It is my way of contacting people...whether it be to ask them about a ride, homework, or just to catch up on the weekend. I went for instant messaging, hook, line, and sinker because it allows you to converse with more than one person at the same time, thus saving precious minutes during your day. Once I started using this form of media more and more though, I realized that it can have detrimental effects as well. I began to talk on AIM instead of doing my homework, I would use it as an excuse for a study break. My nights started getting later and later, and I paid for it the next day trying to keep my lids open during class. I can't imagine that I'm the only person who is in this same predicament when it comes to instant messaging...all I know is that I need to ration the time I spend on the computer chatting.

2004-01-15T23:05:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here's how I really feel about writing, my E-Rhetorics class at Stanford, and technology with respect to education.

I love writing, I have always loved grabbing a pen, a fresh piece of paper, lighting some sweet smelling candles, popping some tunes in, and just letting it all out...on paper that is. I have kept a journal since I was about 10 and bought one on my birthday at FAO Schwarz in Seattle. Writing has been the way I express myself, whether it be anger, joy, sadness, love, or my random thoughts about life. Paper has always been there as a listener and best friend when I felt like alone in the dark. It was not until I reached high school that my feelings about writing shifted. Once I reached high school, I couldn't write creatively anymore, that wasn't what the teachers were looking for or what they thought college professors wanted either. Now it was research papers, persuasive essays, comparing and contrasting novels. A whole new world of writing had been opened up to me and I wasn't sure whether it was a door I wanted to walk through or close completely.

Now, college. My first writing class, first quarter of my freshman year and I thought I was going to die. What did the professor want? What was 'good' writing? Was I even a writer? All these and many more terrifying thoughts raced through my head. Rhetorical strategies...that seemed to be the focus of writing now, here at Stanford. What did this mean? Shaping your argument? I had a lot to learn, but in the end I came out unscathed. I learned that unlike high school papers and AP tests, writing about a research topic can be interesting with some freedom along the way as well.

Now, I am in PWR2, the sequel to my writer's journey first quarter. I chose E-Rhetorics: How to write persuasively in a digital age because I am interested in keeping up to date with technology and its influence in society and because I am a big advocator of instant messaging and email. (which can be detrimental to one's school work if not kept under control...ha ha) I can honestly say that I am loving this course...I am learning a lot about technology with respect to writing-hence this web blog-and how it influences the world in general.

Technology has become such a staple in the lives of many and is infecting the educational world as well. Personally I think that computers are valuable, but only to an extent. I think that they help considerably with business and the economy and concerning education, they certainly open up new avenues for learning, but I feel like society is becoming too dependent on computers. I was talking with my volleyball coach today and as he was getting out of the car he stated, "I remember when I used to get in and out of my car and not worry about whether I forgot my cell phone or turned the computer off." Looking back, this is so true. Computers and cell phones have literally become appendages to people. I cannot go anywhere without my cell phone, it is my lifeline to the rest of the world, and for this I am ashamed. Every time I am in my room, I turn on my computer, open my instant messaging and check my email. Why is it that I feel this need for constant communication? Another subject that baffles me completely. We'll tackle that one another day though. Back to education though. I think that is important for students to have computers for writing papers, accessing school work online and being able to research. I know personally because I went through my first quarter at Stanford completely without a computer and had to run around constantly trying to find a computer to use that wasn't being occupied by a random web surfer. I certainly don't think that everything should be based on computers. I disagree with the article I read the first day of class entitled "Academic Computing in the Year 2000." In this article students from the 1980's predicted what they thought and wished the future would be like in the year 2000. Lectures attended from spacious lawns, live interaction with professors via internet...these were all proposed by the students. If this was the way of the world and the college life, I would be shocked. I believe that this type of system would make students lazy and less responsible. By not attending classes physically, you're missing out on the social interaction that attributes so much to learning and growing as an individual. Not only does this create some anxiety on my part about the health of the nation, but it also creates anxiety about a separation of classes in society.

I know that when my parents bought my new Dell Latitude, it definitely cost them a pretty penny, but they knew that it was essential for me to have my own computer for a number of reasons. What about the people who can't afford computers and aren't as fortunate as I am? In the year '2000' what will they do? In the future if computers are the source for everything, will there be a drastic division between social classes? Will the rich succeed always, and the poor be stuck to the streets and low paying jobs? Will there be no heroic story of the pauper rising to fame? All these questions I ask myself. Computers are truly innovative and technology is always on the rise, but how far will it really go?

This is the question I leave the world with tonight...

2004-01-14T20:16:00.000-08:00

Hello strangers. This is my first blog ever, so in order to kick this event off, I think that a little introduction is in order, although too many details could be dangerous...My name is Jennifer, Jen, Rosie, Rosarita, J Dub, Willy, you name it and I am a student at Stanford University and am loving the experience. I came to California without truly knowing a soul, praying that God would lead the way and like always, he did. I have met some of the most incredible individuals here in this ritzy, yet diverse city and I hope that we will remain life long friends. Hhhhmmmm...more things about myself.

I love any sort of physical activity, whether it be volleyball, my true passion, or frisbee golf. I would love to go sky diving sometime soon and surfing as well. I was born in Honolulu, HI but moved to the wonderful land of the Pacific Northwest when I was still a young one. The trees are refreshing and life is not chaotic, but simple. This is the place I try to remember when I need solace, the faces of those that bring me joy, the beautiful memories, and the thought of returning there on breaks from school.

On a different note, I have a great family...I love you guys! I have two older brothers, who thankfully, beat me up and tortured me enough when I was younger, to enable me with all the survival skills I would ever need to fend for myself. I have a beautiful younger sister who reminds me so much of the person I always strived to be at her age. Last, but certainly not least, the parentals. If I had to describe them in two words they would be amazing and patient. I don't know how they manage to put up with everything that I struggle through and still find time to run their own lives. I also have two other very important people in my life. My two best friends. My soul sister for life...I swear we were separated at birth, she has always been there for me, even when I wasn't there for her, and for that I am eternally grateful. And my other soulmate...such an inspiration to me and the world on how to truly be happy with whatever life throws at you.

Spiritually, I am a Christian. God has so much power and can truly do amazing works through people, a lot of the time, people you least expect. He has carried me and given me strength when I am weak and has been the greatest listener of all. "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." --Philippians 4:13

I am interested in journalism, psychology, sociology and basically, why we do the things we do. One of my favorite activities to do when I am waiting, whether it be for an appointment, a flight, or while in line at the grocery store, is to watch people. You see some of the most random, yet intriguing things when you take a step back from life and just observe. Try it sometime!

Well, I think this is a fairly decent introduction and now I am off to finish reading for class...it never ends...